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The Canine Catastrophe: What Happens if you Cut Off Your Dog's Hormones Prematurely?
Dexter Blanch
Jun 12, 2023
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Hey Dog Lover,
Picture this: Your pup has is getting ready for her first heat. You're a well-meaning, albeit slightly misinformed, pet owner who decides to spay or neuter your furry friend. Even though your dog is still in her pre-teen years, you secretly hope that by removing your dog's hormones, you'll somehow end up with a pet that is immune to the pitfalls of adolescence and exhibits Zen-like calmness. Well, your dog’s hormones likely have not fully distributed through her young body. Get ready! Brace yourselves for the canine chaos that often ensues!
- The "Squirrel Conundrum": Remember how your dog used to dash madly after squirrels, barking like there's no tomorrow? Well, wave that image goodbye because without hormones, your dog transforms into a zen-like creature. Those frenzied squirrel chases turn into leisurely strolls as your dog calmly observes the squirrels, pondering life's deepest mysteries. You'll be left standing there, dumbfounded, wondering if your dog has been secretly attending meditation classes!
- "Pup Puberty Paradox": Puberty is a challenging phase for both humans and canines alike, but who would have thought that cutting off hormones could lead to some unexpected side effects? Your dog, instead of going through the rebellious teenage phase, your dog’s disposition becomes erratic. She will not act like a dog her age. Picture a full-grown dog with floppy ears, a wagging tail, and a tendency to chew on anything within reach. Forget about walks; it's playtime all day, every day!
- "The Love Bug Misguided": Ah, the joys of doggy romance! Dogs are known for their amorous escapades, but without hormones, your pooch's love life takes an unexpected turn. Instead of serenading potential mates with a symphony of barks and howls, your dog resorts to serenading any person or dog in the vicinity! Your mail carrier, or other delivery person, will become your dog’s newest love interest…or targeted chew toy.
- "Doggy Daydreaming": Hormones play a significant role in shaping our dreams, and it's no different for our furry companions. When you cut off your dog's hormones prematurely, prepare for some wild and vivid dreams. Gone are the days of predictable tail-wagging and twitching paws during slumber; instead, your dog might start engaging in bizarre nocturnal activities like chasing an imaginary jewel thief or burglar.
- "Canine Comedic Genius": Who would have thought that hormones were the secret ingredient for canine humor? Well…not really. Unless you’re talking about physical comedy, your dog's hormone-free existence does not unlock a whole new level of comedic canine brilliance. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Picture your dog standing on stage delivering slightly mistimed punchlines to an audience howling laughter at your dog’s uneven and wabbly hind legs. The hind legs might look like they belong to a younger or even older dog-but they don’t look like they belong to your pup.
Now, let's be clear: Hormones play a crucial role in our furry friends' development, behavior, and overall well-being. It's always important to consult with professionals and make informed decisions when it comes to our pets. Remember, the best way to keep our dogs happy and healthy is by giving them plenty of love, attention, and belly rubs.
So, let's cherish our hormone-filled pups until the time is right to spay or neuter (if ever). You might find that you really enjoy the quirkiness of your fury companions and the wonderful chaos they bring into our lives!
Until next time, keep wagging and stay pawsome!
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