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Ugh! You Again! She is in HEAT! No Woofers Allowed!
Dexter Blanch
Jun 05, 2023
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Woof, woof, and a pinch of mischief! If you have an intact female dog, you know the challenges of warding off amorous advances from persistent intact males during her heat. Fear not, fellow pawrents, for we've fetched 5 great tips and tricks to keep your fur baby safe and sound from unwanted suitors. Some of the tips are real, and others, not so real. You decide which tip is for you!
Let the comedy begin!
- The Art of Disguise:
Get creative and transform your female dog into a master of disguise! Transfer her into a dinosaur, a lion, or other fantastic carnivore. No suitor will dare approach when they see your girl could actually eat them!
- "Beware of …" Signs:
When your dog starts her cycle, place witty signs around your neighborhood like “Beware of Bloody Canine” (best around Halloween) or "Beware: Expert in Kung-Fu Paw-jitsu Resides Here" or "Stay Away unless you want to pay Pup Support" or “Quarantine: In Heat! Come BACK in Three Weeks!” Let potential suitors and their handlers know there may be consequences for stopping here.
- Doggie Pepper Spray (Literally!)(Not Literally!):
Carry a water spray bottle labeled "Doggie Pepper Spray" to ward off unwelcome advances. A quick spritz in the face will have any Romeo running for the hills, believing they just encountered a formidable canine superhero. Add cayenne pepper for added affect!
- Canine Speed Dating (Counterintuitive? YES!):
Host a speed dating event for intact males in your area. I know this sounds crazy! But, hear us out. Invite all the boys to a park, provide them dog bones and cheeze wheels, and take your girl to the beach! This diversionary tactic will redirect their amorous attention elsewhere while you safely enjoy quality time with your fur princess.
- Ambushes from the Rear? No WAY!
The Delay her Spay Harness is a real-life dog chastity belt that protects against any smooth criminal that tries to approach when your girl is not looking! She can wear it with confidence knowing that there will be No Ambushing Here! Plus, she will never have to take it off! (See the videos) She can stay protected even in her most vulnerable position, until you take the harness off!
Conclusion:
Keeping your intact female dog safe from the advances of amorous males can be a hilarious adventure. Remember, it's all about creativity, humor, and having a few tricks up your sleeve. These playful strategies will not only protect your dog but also provide endless entertainment for you and your fellow dog-loving friends. So go forth, have a laugh, and keep those woofters at bay. Stay pawsome, my friends! 🐾😄
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